Questions & Answers



What is the difference between couples coaching and couples counseling?

Coaching focuses on understanding oneself and gaining skills to move forward. It focuses on helping couples better understand one another and solutions to their issues. Coaches help couples move from where they are to where they want to be and recognize that each marriage is different.  Coaches will not tell you what to do, but will help you figure out what will work best for you as a couple.

Counseling is for couples who need more specialized help to address mental health issues, or other behaviors that are beyond coaching. It often focuses on understanding the past to create health in the present. 

70% of couples could benefit from coaching and do not need a counselor.

Can couples coaching save my marriage?

Yes! This is particularly true if you choose someone who is specifically trained in relationships and adheres to proven, evidence-based techniques with a structured program . If you and your partner are both committed to saving your relationship, couples coaching will give you the necessary framework and structure you need to move forward.

I am scared to try marriage coaching. Is it really going to help?

The prospect of seeking outside help with your relationship can be daunting, especially when you don’t know what to expect. And if your marriage feels like it is teetering on the edge of a cliff, you want to know that your coach isn’t going to inadvertently push you over the edge.

I understand the risk you are taking and I take it very seriously. I enter into the relationship with couples knowing that you are entrusting me with both your deepest emotions and quite possibly the fate of your marriage. I do not judge, blame or take sides, and I don't let the arguments you have at home escalate in my office. I help you and your partner work to understand and change your negative cycle and move beyond the conflict and distance you feel today.

When is it too late to save a marriage?

In most instances it's NEVER too late. Certainly the sooner you begin to address the negative cycles in your relationship the easier it can be to change course. But no matter when you make the decision to seek help, most couples experience meaningful and lasting change, especially if they are both willing to continue to try and engage in the process.

It is very common for couples to experience significant distress in their relationships for long periods of time. According to a marital research study, the average couple waits six years before seeking help for marital problems. Yet many couples are able to transform their relationships in meaningful and lasting ways, particularly when they work with a coach who is specifically trained in marriage and relationships and who uses a structured approach.

We’ve had a lot of tough fights. Isn’t that a sign that we’re just not compatible?

As much as arguments and conflict might seem to signal a fundamental incompatibility, in many cases the opposite is true. When you are fighting with your partner, you are most likely fighting for the relationship. Unfortunately it is often not in a way that brings you close but rather pushes your partner away.

Couples tend to fight precisely for the reason that their love and commitment to one another is so strong. Deep down both parties have a deep need for connection, but negative cycles develop that prevent emotional safety. With proper guidance and learned skills, this pattern can be reversed and the connection restablished.

In cases where relationships that have become physically or emotionally abusive, it may be necessary for one or both parties to seek therapy individually before deciding whether to continue in the partnership.


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